Saturday, February 17, 2007

Ping Pong rules adjusted for Girlfriend

Ping-Pong Rules Adjusted For Girlfriend

Saw this on the Onion just now... so true!

EDEN PRARIE, MN — After having won three consecutive ping-pong matches by increasingly wide margins Saturday, David Richter, 27, adjusted the rules in favor of girlfriend Amy Lindon, 28, to avoid another lopsided victory. "I didn't want her to feel bad, and I actually didn't even want to beat her by so many points anymore," said Richter, who let Lindon hit the ball even if it bounced twice on her side, did not penalize her for serving illegally, and on one occasion tripled her overall score. "Toward the end, I was giving her points just for swinging the paddle in the direction of the ball." Richter won 21-7.

Of course, it doesn't apply only to girlfriends, pretty much any girl, as long as she's not a total hambeast or dworkin gets the benefit of these rules, and they then use their ill-gotten victories to gloat over men. The fact is that women just don't know how to lose - they will whine, scream, deny sex if they are in a position to do so, threaten to get you into trouble - anything to make sure that you don't treat them equally - like you would treat a man. Hell, anyone with a sibling will know what I'm talking about - sisters have total impunity to hit, irritate and be a downright pain in the ass, but as soon as you raise a hand in defence or offence, oh boy you're gonna get it. Dear Sis will put on her sweetest face, turn on the waterworks and get you into as much trouble as she can. And you can't hold a grudge either, because obviously it will backfire on you with your parents telling you to love your sister and treat her nicely.

Just like any other group of females in the world, there is a close bond between daughter and mother - assume a typical family with a father, mother, son and daughter - the mother is home all day and gets a lot of quality time with the daughter, while the father is out working and being away from his family, paying for all the luxuries the family takes for granted. Add in the natural tendency of women to collaborate with each other and exclude men, and you have the lone male feeling very alone and isolated.


  1. Fuck giving women advantages as they show no gratitude for them. Treat them the same as men (after all,aren't they bitching about equality all day?) and when they fuck up give them an extra kick in the cunt to make up for the pampering they received in the past.

    Fuck women,I'm tired of their shit.

  2. Yep, one of the first things I noticed in Mexico is that men have male friends! Sounds weird, but in the US few men have a friend. They may have a fishing buddy or drinking buddy, but not a real friend.

    I describe, tongue in cheek, a real male friend would be a man who would come visit you in jail when you are accused of sex abuse of a child. Since most such charges are false, it is nice to have a friend who will assume your innocence as long as he can.

    I found my true first male friend in 1989 when I was 47. I am probably one of his first friends also.

    Here in Mexico, I also have such a friend. Here they call a close male friend, compadre. Most men have compadres, and women, (unlike in the US where women find it totally inconvenient for a man to have a close male friend thus make it very difficult,) take it for granted.

    My joke is in Mexico your compadre will hold your trousers and guard your wallet in time of need, and you will hold his in time of need. :)

    My compadre and I are close, because he is an intellectual doctor, (not that most doctors are intellectual), and in a small Third World village, there are few intellectuals. When I first came here, he glommed on to me really quick when he discovered I was an "educated intellectual."

    I joked at his New Year's party, which consisted of him, his wife, his lazy son, my intellectual niece, and her boyfriend/husband who has a PH.D from Berkeley, that all the intellectuals in town were probably present. It probably was true.

    My point is, in Mexico, I get more than just sane women, and sane laws.

    Anonymous age 64

  3. That's a great post, anon 64. That's actually one thing I miss about my own country - you could actually be friends, hug, hold hands of someone of the same sex without being labeled gay.

    Over here the culture is very tolerant, even encouraging of relationships between girls, but society - men AND women - cusses you out for developing close relationships with other men.