Saturday, March 31, 2007

Flip off a female driver?

Got this forwarded email...
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip one off? ... I think not.
Double standards? Acceptance of female violence? Blaming men for women's anger? All check.


  1. I suggest you arm yourself then.

  2. Well, most of the time, women who are armed, end up getting the weapon used on them, as in they can't draw it fast enough.

    When was the last time you heard of a woman shooting a bad guy? It just doesn't happen!!!

  3. When was the last time you heard of a woman shooting a bad guy? It just doesn't happen!!!
    That's because someone else does the shooting for her. And its rare anyway that a woman would be in fear of her life, its not like she's a man or something.

  4. Good use of numbers! Imagine that...using facts and figures to back up your claims...where have I NOT heard that before...

  5. Lol!

    Great Piece, Pete!

    How positively Linear of you!

  6. Probability speaking, there is no doubt a lot of noncross-pollunization in the figures, thereby, making the end number larger than it probably is, but I still think the idea is spot on. What's worse for me is that my state (Texas) allows people to carry conceiled handguns.