Thursday, October 19, 2006

Who benefits from marriage? Part II

In the first part, I covered the feminist belief that marriage is beneficial for men, at the expense of women. Here's another quote to that effect: "I'm turned off by the idea of marriage because I feel like the institution of marriage has tradionally given women the short end of the stick... marriage has traditionally meant giving up (or not pursuing in the first place) a career, taking responsibility for all of the household chores and child-rearing, and living to be sweet, comforting, and helpful to the husband."

Now, for men, marriage means responsibilities. You get the responsibility of providing for a woman who has "given up" her career, for the children that inevitably follow, and you have to do 50% of the household chores as well as 100% of the yardwork and DIY. (On a side note: This is why I hate Home Improvement. Along with presenting the men as idiots, the projects they undertake and the car maintenance they do are "hobbies" even though they probably save thousands of dollars every year due to the round-the-clock handyman in the house. Have you priced out a plumber lately? They are not cheap!)

If you ask a man whether he would like to be free of the need to work and still maintain their family's lifestyle, you are most likely to get a resounding yes. There are a few men who enjoy their work and there are some men who wouldn't do it because it goes against their idea of traditional masculinity. But the majority are going to say yes. So forgive us if we take the idea that women give up their pink collar jobs, err careers with a pinch of salt.

For women, marriage is a fantastic deal. They get to quit the workplace, live at home (the safest "workplace" of all) and they get to take care of the household as they wish. A recent study showed that even in today's equality culture, men and women consider the home to be the woman's domain. Examples were shown of women getting irritated when the husband loaded up the dishwasher in a different way, or hung up the ladles that were supposed to be put in the cupboard, etc. And of course, the classic "put your socks away!"

There are more benefits to marriage for women - since women are at the peak of their sexual attractiveness at adolescence and a few years after that, they can get a man to provide for them and their progeny even as they lose their attractiveness. Essentially, the man marries to get sex and companionship with a beautiful woman who gradually loses her attractiveness, and the woman marries to get support and protection from a man who gradually builds in attractiveness as he gets richer. This is why a man in his early 30s is at a high point in the dating game - he has not totally lost his looks, but is far richer than men in their 20s. A woman in her early 20s is in a similar position of power - she is far more attractive than women in their late 20s and early 30s.

So who does marriage benefit?

I think that marriage benefits society. I think that marriage benefits the products of the marriage - the children much more than the partners of the marriage. The evidence is clear that a child raised in a traditional family is far more likely to be successful in life than a child raised in a broken home without a father. Fatherlessness is a primary indicator of the likelyhood that a child will grow up to be an antisocial element.

Marriage benefits society by benefiting the building blocks of society - its children. If the children grow up lawless and fatherless, it is society that suffers. This is why marriage is a societal construct today that has been enforced in all "old" societies that are surviving today - since societies that did not have marriage or otherwise encouraged children out of wedlock or no children at all have not survived.


  1. If you are served a crappy lukewarm meal by a crappy waitress in a dumpy diner are you going to stop eating? I think not!

    I can understand the anger and defensiveness, for I have that against feminists myself, even as a woman. However, don't down all marriage just because of the godless women godless men have chosen to procreate with.

    In a godly marriage, meaning man and wife being "true" Christians marriage can be deep and rich beyond wildest imaginations. I treat my man like a king and fulfill his needs for respect and honor, sex and companionship. Even little things like lunches and clothes being made available. His co-workers are pigs...but they are jealous pigs. And you know what I get in return? Treated like a princess!! Not with material things, we live on one income. No, in love, in being cherished, in having my man rise up and call me blessed....both alone and in front of people.

    It took 8 years to get there, due to our pasts and struggles, however since we were seriously desiring to be pleasing to God...we got there! We shattered the feminist lies to the ground and now I need to try and teach my own sons and daughters in a way that they can embrace the natural order of life themselves.

    Do you care of my life story? I'm sure you don't! However, I hope I've made my point. Don't sling dung at marriage, sling it at selfish people. Godless people. Hey, better yet, share some ways we can change it! We're trying to raise children who are happy and comfortable with their genders. We're doing our part.

  2. I hope that didn't sound too rude. It wasn't my intent!

  3. Hi Jenn. I left a comment on your blog just a few minutes ago. Maybe that'll explain some of the issues?

    Here it is, for the benefit of my readers:

    Hi Jenn, I came over to see your blog. I know some of the comments I make on my blog are harsh, but I am not going to apologize for the ills I and my brothers in the Men's Rights movement have suffered, nor for the ills their sisters, daughters, mothers and wives have suffered - a man jailed due to failure to pay child support or due to a false allegation or jailed by an unfair law/judge/court can no longer support his daughter, his mother or his wife, and his mother will suffer because she cares about him.

    Nothing against women should be taken personally - when we generalize, we know that there are exceptions to the rule. In fact, from talking to my fellow MRAs, it has come up time and again that the best type of woman to marry is a true Christian (not just one that goes to church in the morning to complete an image or fill in a time slot).

    However, it is also true that divorce laws are very lopsided and give a lot of power to women. Don't blame men for their consequent rejection of marriage, blame your feminist sisters, who claim to speak for all women.

    Many men don't know how bad the situation is - women like you are a rarity, with 50% of marriages ending in divorce, and 75% of divorces initiated by the woman.

  4. Thanks for taking the time and consideration to discuss the issue. Your point is well taken.

    I just cringe at the comments about marriage, I for one really want to see traditional Marriage upheld (or gone back to perhaps I should say) for my children and so on..... I understand your stance, however.

    We all need to stick together. I, and a lot of others are on your side, eventhough most of them are not on these sites. Most of them are educating women like myself in the past, most of them are Christian sites. Praying for a revival.......

  5. "If the children grow up lawless and fatherless, it is society that suffers."

    Wrong. It's mostly women that will suffer, since they will not bale able to find educated husbands and will be the victims of more crime. Not our problem here, mate.

  6. Wrong. It's mostly women that will suffer, since they will not bale able to find educated husbands and will be the victims of more crime.

    I think it can go both ways. Just like the fact that when you're a man walking down the street or riding a bus in the UK, you're much more likely to the victim of a chav assault than if you're a woman. As long as there is society there is somebody looking out for women, because of the simple fact that men want to impregnate her.

    On the other hand, a woman is an easier target for a purse snatching or rape. So i don't know, it could go either way. What I do hope we agree on is the fact that it won't be pretty if society keeps on going down the path being paved by the UK's tolerance of petty crime. The US is much better in this area however, I think.